I really had other things that I wanted to write about today but there have been some developments health-wise that I think people would want to know about. It really is more drama that I can deal with.
Yesterday was supposed to be my first day of chemo. I will be getting either Taxol of Taxatere to help enhance the radiation treatment but this chest cold has been getting worse and presenting some strange symptoms such as nausea. By the time I got to the oncologists office, I couldn't even sit up comfortably so I lay myself down on the examining table. When Dr. Taetle came in, I told him that I had a cough, wheezing, nausea, light headedness, all compounded with my regular hot flashes. I had gone for a chest x-ray at the insistence of my radiation oncologist and apparently, it showed a small spot that could be an early sign of pneumonia! Well, I have to say that I felt like I have pneumonia so I was not that surprised. Dr. Taetle put me on an antibiotic and something for the cough and nausea and told me to get some rest. He said that it wouldn't be a good idea to do the chemo if I was already feeling so lousy.
Then I told him about all the strange hormonal symptoms that I am having. I have hot flashes from morning to night. I have had feelings as if I would get my period and I have had extreme weepiness. These seem to be conflicting symptoms. If I am menapausal, I shouldn't have hot flashes, if I'm peri-menapausal, I shouldn't feel weepy. My estradiol levels are at 8 which is almost nothing, so why am I feeling like I could cry when I look at a person in the waiting room? I really have my doctors stumped. Honestly, I'd much rather be a normal case that reacted to my meds as expected.
I went to see a naturopath today. He is a medical doctor who specialized in naturopathic medicine but he is also a specialist in cancer treatment. He's pretty interesting looking, tall and slim, dressed in black pants and shoes with a rather stylish gray and black shirt. He wears narrow rimless glasses and has curly black hair speckled with hints of gray. He spent ages with me discussing my history and habits, did a brief examination and then talked to me about a regimen. I felt confident that he really knew his stuff and I liked his approach to my situation. I am going to give it a try and see how I feel. He said that I can eat meat (organic) and soy (less than 60 mg isoflavones per day). He told me to avoid sugars (as everyone says) but gave me a feeling of hope for, not just surviving this cancer, but improving my overall health.
I did find out a cool thing at radiation yesterday. When I go in, they put a wax template on my chest. I asked what that was for and the tech told me that it fools the electrons so that they don't penetrate as deeply into my chest. They just penetrate to the surface cells. I thought that was pretty fascinating. I'd love to know more about how that works.
Well, there is much more to tell and I have some fun new posts to write but I have an appt with a naturopath in an hour so the additional blog entries will have to wait.
Love to all and Peace!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Revolutionary Road: A critique
While suffering from a wretched chest cold this past week, I had the opportunity to watch several movies. One that I had added to my Netflix queue while watching the Academy Awards this past year was Revolutionary Road, with Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. Now if you haven't seen this film and plan to, do not read any further, as it will spoil the film for you. If you are not in that boat, well, then by all means, read on.
I have not read the book, Revolutionary Road, by Richard Yates. I usually read the book before seeing the film because so often I find that I prefer the one that I am introduced to first. But in this case, I forged ahead and saw the movie first.
I should have been a bit wary since the last movie I saw with these two stars, namely Titanic, was not my favorite film. I thought it was all special effects, very little story line and weak acting, at least as far as Leonardo was concerned. Revolutionary Road was different in that, the story line was quite intriguing. It was sporadic and jumpy like so many American films are these days, probably to feed the short attention spans of the American viewing public, but there was real substance there. Unfortunately, the casting of Leonardo DiCaprio in the leading male role was not the best choice, as I feared before I watched the film. Admittedly, he has been seen in some well known and even respected films in his career but, as many times as I see him on screen, I always think that I am watching Leonardo DiCaprio play Leonardo DiCaprio. For me, he has no depth, he doesn't bring his characters to life for me, they always seem so flat.
On the other hand, to watch Kate Winslet is to see a true actor delve into the persona of her character and bring her to life, to wrench every emotion off the page of the script, and pull it into her very being. She is still growing and developing as an actor, but the growth and development is evident in every role that she takes on. It was a shame to cast her opposite Leonardo because just as she is enveloping the audience in the tragedy and loss of April's life, Leonardo is pulling the viewer out of the story and reminding us that it is just a film.
Now that I have seen the film, I feel a need to read the book. The film falls short in portraying the storyline in a complete fashion, leaving the viewer feeling that there is so much more that we don't see. The film provided nuances of intrigue where I imagine the book delved deeper into some profound questions, questions of motivation, purpose and reactions. For example, after April died, did Shep think that she wanted the abortion because she was carrying his baby? If so, how did he deal with his sense of guilt? There was the realtor's son, who was crazy, did he serve any greater role in the book than as a way to bring all of Frank's and April's true feelings to the surface? Was he just there to bring the critical underlying issues out and lead to the break between April and Frank?
For me personally, there were several themes in the story that deserve greater attention. The first was Frank and his career working for the large corporation, sitting in a cubicle day in and day out and getting no satisfaction from his careeer. For a while I thought that Knox was based on IBM but then I though it might be Xerox. Regardless, I could see myself in Frank. When April suggested they move to Paris so that he could pursue something that he really had a passion for, I thought about how much that would have appealed to me. I saw myself in that part of the story. I identified with April and her desperation to leave the suburbs, to get out, to go anywhere.
This pointed to the other theme that touched me. I saw that April was lonely, that she felt so isolated in the suburbs. It was 1955 and the rush was on to expand out further and further away from the city center. The drive to the suburbs was on but in the process, we lost connection with our neighbors, we lost connection with our community and we became insular. This is something that I have been pondering a lot lately. When I have thought that the boys and I might need to move, I have always thought that if we did, I would want to move to a city, to live in an urban environment, where we could be close to our neighbors, where we would see people in the morning when we left for work, where we would share a wall, and be a part of the activity of life again. April had lost all that and she was alone all day every day, with only the children as company and not even that when they were at school. Her isolation led to her desperation to get out and that led to her breakdown.
I could write so much more on this movie. It was so full of tidbits to capture the mind and grab the heart and intrigue the conscience. I look forward to reading the book and possibly writing more at that time.
BTW, radiation is going well. I don't know when I will start chemo but for the moment, things are running smoothly. Thanks for reading ....
I have not read the book, Revolutionary Road, by Richard Yates. I usually read the book before seeing the film because so often I find that I prefer the one that I am introduced to first. But in this case, I forged ahead and saw the movie first.
I should have been a bit wary since the last movie I saw with these two stars, namely Titanic, was not my favorite film. I thought it was all special effects, very little story line and weak acting, at least as far as Leonardo was concerned. Revolutionary Road was different in that, the story line was quite intriguing. It was sporadic and jumpy like so many American films are these days, probably to feed the short attention spans of the American viewing public, but there was real substance there. Unfortunately, the casting of Leonardo DiCaprio in the leading male role was not the best choice, as I feared before I watched the film. Admittedly, he has been seen in some well known and even respected films in his career but, as many times as I see him on screen, I always think that I am watching Leonardo DiCaprio play Leonardo DiCaprio. For me, he has no depth, he doesn't bring his characters to life for me, they always seem so flat.
On the other hand, to watch Kate Winslet is to see a true actor delve into the persona of her character and bring her to life, to wrench every emotion off the page of the script, and pull it into her very being. She is still growing and developing as an actor, but the growth and development is evident in every role that she takes on. It was a shame to cast her opposite Leonardo because just as she is enveloping the audience in the tragedy and loss of April's life, Leonardo is pulling the viewer out of the story and reminding us that it is just a film.
Now that I have seen the film, I feel a need to read the book. The film falls short in portraying the storyline in a complete fashion, leaving the viewer feeling that there is so much more that we don't see. The film provided nuances of intrigue where I imagine the book delved deeper into some profound questions, questions of motivation, purpose and reactions. For example, after April died, did Shep think that she wanted the abortion because she was carrying his baby? If so, how did he deal with his sense of guilt? There was the realtor's son, who was crazy, did he serve any greater role in the book than as a way to bring all of Frank's and April's true feelings to the surface? Was he just there to bring the critical underlying issues out and lead to the break between April and Frank?
For me personally, there were several themes in the story that deserve greater attention. The first was Frank and his career working for the large corporation, sitting in a cubicle day in and day out and getting no satisfaction from his careeer. For a while I thought that Knox was based on IBM but then I though it might be Xerox. Regardless, I could see myself in Frank. When April suggested they move to Paris so that he could pursue something that he really had a passion for, I thought about how much that would have appealed to me. I saw myself in that part of the story. I identified with April and her desperation to leave the suburbs, to get out, to go anywhere.
This pointed to the other theme that touched me. I saw that April was lonely, that she felt so isolated in the suburbs. It was 1955 and the rush was on to expand out further and further away from the city center. The drive to the suburbs was on but in the process, we lost connection with our neighbors, we lost connection with our community and we became insular. This is something that I have been pondering a lot lately. When I have thought that the boys and I might need to move, I have always thought that if we did, I would want to move to a city, to live in an urban environment, where we could be close to our neighbors, where we would see people in the morning when we left for work, where we would share a wall, and be a part of the activity of life again. April had lost all that and she was alone all day every day, with only the children as company and not even that when they were at school. Her isolation led to her desperation to get out and that led to her breakdown.
I could write so much more on this movie. It was so full of tidbits to capture the mind and grab the heart and intrigue the conscience. I look forward to reading the book and possibly writing more at that time.
BTW, radiation is going well. I don't know when I will start chemo but for the moment, things are running smoothly. Thanks for reading ....
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Writing for better health
One of the practices that I think can make a huge difference in my health is doing what truly makes me happy. I am a writer. I have always been a writer. I wrote my first novel when I was twelve. I wrote poetry all through high school and college. Why did I stop? I know that when I was thinking about a career, I was scared that I couldn't support myself if I attempted building a career out of writing fiction.
Then I look at my current situation, and I'm not really supporting myself. I thought about what I do when I am not working, and I am writing. I am writing a blog, articles for a friend's website, short stories, and I write in two different journals. So how can I incorporate writing into my future work.
Then I look at my current situation, and I'm not really supporting myself. I thought about what I do when I am not working, and I am writing. I am writing a blog, articles for a friend's website, short stories, and I write in two different journals. So how can I incorporate writing into my future work.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
From the highs to the lows
To make a very long story short, the appointment with my radiation oncologist was not all I had hoped for. There were several bits of bad news delivered that day. They include the following:
- The area of my breast/chest where the recent lump was found had been radiated during my previous cancer treatment, and yet it came back. This means that this cancer is particularly resistant to radiation (as it is to chemo, that we already knew).
- I will need to have radiation again but it will be more difficult this time (for them, not for me). They have to direct the radiation at an upward angle which means that they are going to have to tape my breast up to my arm. Sounds like fun, huh.
- I will also need to have chemo while getting my radiation. I know that I thought I was going to get a pass on the chemo this time but no such luck. The upside to this chemo is that it is not the heavy duty drugs that I got last time, no hair loss and nausea. This drug is a radiation enhancement drug to increase the effectiveness of the radiation.
- I will need to recover from the radiation for about six weeks before I can plan the next surgery.
So that's it in a nutshell. I wanted to get it all out there because I find that I would like to write about things other than just my cancer. I know that everyone is concerned about me and my health but I feel that there is so much more going on in my life that I want to share.
For the first time since my surgery, I went to yoga class at Sunstone Cancer Support Center. The instructor there, Jenny, teaches a gentle yoga class which is slow and yet quite powerful. Yesterday, we went into twists and other poses that moved the muscles and stretched the limbs but never required too much of us. Towards the end, we were on our backs in a relaxation pose when the rain started to come down. It never starts gradually. The drops sounded like nails being dropped on the roof. The clatter would have been unnerving for anyone not accustomed to our monsoon storms but to us it was reassuring and soothing. We welcome the rain whenever it comes and in whatever form it takes. After the rain stopped, the thunder continued, rolling through the desert, growling through our practice.
When we left the building, the air was moist and tepid. I told Jenny that I like the monsoons because they are passionate, loud and extreme. Drops were still falling in ones and twos and it felt so renewing after our yoga practice. I wanted to drink it in so I got in my car and opened all the windows and let the water drops fall on my arm, my face, my glasses, as I drove home.
I always feel so different after I have gone to yoga. I have attended several different classes, some fast and energetic, some competitive, some quiet and restful. I find Jenny's classes to be the best fit for me. I have been thinking about her and how she came to her role in my life. She used to be a statistician and through a round-about journey, arrived in Tucson teaching yoga. Her story was very inspiring, how she truly followed her bliss and found it here.
My stint as an unemployed writer/ESL teacher/traveler/single mom has continued for over four months. I have never been unemployed against my will. I have often come back from my travels and had no work, but that was part of the plan. This time it was quite unexpected and unwelcome. During the past months, I have come to the realization that this is my chance. This is a time that I have all to myself to figure out what I want to do and to remake my life, to find my bliss and follow it. That realization has me somewhat overwhelmed.
I have gone all over the place with my ideas. First I wanted to get my project management certification, thinking that that would prove to be a key to my success, although I wasn't quite sure what that might look like. I thought about international management and international non-profits. As much as I looked, my qualifications didn't seem to fit in with their requirements and I got discouraged. Then I thought, maybe I should think about teaching ESL again. I even considered going abroad to work, but realized much to my dismay that this recent bout of cancer was going to tie me close to home, what with medications and check ups and all the rest. My dreams of living overseas have to be put on hold once again, although we all know that that is probably for the best, as far as Mario, Mateo and Oscar are concerned.
After I realized that an overseas job just isn't in the cards at the moment, I got really lost. When I thought about the jobs like the one I just left, I knew that I wanted something different. I don't want to spend my days in front of a computer anymore. It worked for ten years but now it's time for a change. When I dream about what would make me the most happy, I know that it involves travel and going overseas. I don't necessarily have to live there, although I would love that. That's what my mind always takes me back to.
Then last night, I was talking to my friend Lisa and I said something that surprised me. I have thought about being a yoga instructor. It would be a healthy career and it would get me out from in front of the computer. What?????? What was I thinking????
I asked Lisa what she thought was going on, why I changed my career plans every day or so and she said that she thought it might be a way to keep my mind off of my health. I think she might be right. I have had a great time thinking about how I would go about becoming a yoga instructor and dreaming of all the retreats I could go to overseas. I have thought about building a private studio in the back where I could hold classes etc. When I get an idea, I really run with it. I also realized something else.... I need a counselor.
I have been sharing my ideas of the perfect career with everyone I talk to, my parents, my sisters and all my friends. Then it dawned on me that I really should be talking to a counselor because they might be able to help me really get some clarity on what I should do and how to go about doing it. So my next step is finding a counselor wih whom I have a good fit and I will go from there. Wish me luck!
- The area of my breast/chest where the recent lump was found had been radiated during my previous cancer treatment, and yet it came back. This means that this cancer is particularly resistant to radiation (as it is to chemo, that we already knew).
- I will need to have radiation again but it will be more difficult this time (for them, not for me). They have to direct the radiation at an upward angle which means that they are going to have to tape my breast up to my arm. Sounds like fun, huh.
- I will also need to have chemo while getting my radiation. I know that I thought I was going to get a pass on the chemo this time but no such luck. The upside to this chemo is that it is not the heavy duty drugs that I got last time, no hair loss and nausea. This drug is a radiation enhancement drug to increase the effectiveness of the radiation.
- I will need to recover from the radiation for about six weeks before I can plan the next surgery.
So that's it in a nutshell. I wanted to get it all out there because I find that I would like to write about things other than just my cancer. I know that everyone is concerned about me and my health but I feel that there is so much more going on in my life that I want to share.
For the first time since my surgery, I went to yoga class at Sunstone Cancer Support Center. The instructor there, Jenny, teaches a gentle yoga class which is slow and yet quite powerful. Yesterday, we went into twists and other poses that moved the muscles and stretched the limbs but never required too much of us. Towards the end, we were on our backs in a relaxation pose when the rain started to come down. It never starts gradually. The drops sounded like nails being dropped on the roof. The clatter would have been unnerving for anyone not accustomed to our monsoon storms but to us it was reassuring and soothing. We welcome the rain whenever it comes and in whatever form it takes. After the rain stopped, the thunder continued, rolling through the desert, growling through our practice.
When we left the building, the air was moist and tepid. I told Jenny that I like the monsoons because they are passionate, loud and extreme. Drops were still falling in ones and twos and it felt so renewing after our yoga practice. I wanted to drink it in so I got in my car and opened all the windows and let the water drops fall on my arm, my face, my glasses, as I drove home.
I always feel so different after I have gone to yoga. I have attended several different classes, some fast and energetic, some competitive, some quiet and restful. I find Jenny's classes to be the best fit for me. I have been thinking about her and how she came to her role in my life. She used to be a statistician and through a round-about journey, arrived in Tucson teaching yoga. Her story was very inspiring, how she truly followed her bliss and found it here.
My stint as an unemployed writer/ESL teacher/traveler/single mom has continued for over four months. I have never been unemployed against my will. I have often come back from my travels and had no work, but that was part of the plan. This time it was quite unexpected and unwelcome. During the past months, I have come to the realization that this is my chance. This is a time that I have all to myself to figure out what I want to do and to remake my life, to find my bliss and follow it. That realization has me somewhat overwhelmed.
I have gone all over the place with my ideas. First I wanted to get my project management certification, thinking that that would prove to be a key to my success, although I wasn't quite sure what that might look like. I thought about international management and international non-profits. As much as I looked, my qualifications didn't seem to fit in with their requirements and I got discouraged. Then I thought, maybe I should think about teaching ESL again. I even considered going abroad to work, but realized much to my dismay that this recent bout of cancer was going to tie me close to home, what with medications and check ups and all the rest. My dreams of living overseas have to be put on hold once again, although we all know that that is probably for the best, as far as Mario, Mateo and Oscar are concerned.
After I realized that an overseas job just isn't in the cards at the moment, I got really lost. When I thought about the jobs like the one I just left, I knew that I wanted something different. I don't want to spend my days in front of a computer anymore. It worked for ten years but now it's time for a change. When I dream about what would make me the most happy, I know that it involves travel and going overseas. I don't necessarily have to live there, although I would love that. That's what my mind always takes me back to.
Then last night, I was talking to my friend Lisa and I said something that surprised me. I have thought about being a yoga instructor. It would be a healthy career and it would get me out from in front of the computer. What?????? What was I thinking????
I asked Lisa what she thought was going on, why I changed my career plans every day or so and she said that she thought it might be a way to keep my mind off of my health. I think she might be right. I have had a great time thinking about how I would go about becoming a yoga instructor and dreaming of all the retreats I could go to overseas. I have thought about building a private studio in the back where I could hold classes etc. When I get an idea, I really run with it. I also realized something else.... I need a counselor.
I have been sharing my ideas of the perfect career with everyone I talk to, my parents, my sisters and all my friends. Then it dawned on me that I really should be talking to a counselor because they might be able to help me really get some clarity on what I should do and how to go about doing it. So my next step is finding a counselor wih whom I have a good fit and I will go from there. Wish me luck!
Monday, July 6, 2009
The surgeon's follow-up appointment
From our back yard, we could see the fireworks that were shot off from the Tucson Country Club on the night of the 4th of July. The boys were already in their pajamas and the air was warm. We were sitting around in the backyard waiting for the first booms indicating the start of the show. Then we ran to the back of the yard for a better look. The sky blossomed with the colors and lights of the fireworks. This was the first year that Mateo got to see the show. It took him a few minutes to get used to the resounding, earth-shaking explosions. But once he knew that he was safe and saw Oscar, Mario and I enjoying the wonder of the celebration, he relaxed and settled into his seat on the wall.
The next day the boys and I went to Quaker meeting. After leaving the boys in first day school, I found a comfortable chair in the meeting. I don't know if I fell asleep or if I was so caught up in appreciating the silence and being in the moment, but it seemed like only minutes had passed before the children came in to join the adults in worship. After the meeting, it was so uplifting to see so many supportive smiles and to get hugs and back-pats. The boys and I are truly surrounded by a blanket of love and caring. I have received numerous notes of concern, even from people I don't know well. I can't tell you how inspiring it is when people just reach out to you, regardless of whether they know you well or not. I have also realized that one of the positive outcomes of this experience is that it is bringing the boys and I closer to the meeting and it is opening up a path for me to get to know more of the meeting members. It's true that even during the darkest of times, beautiful things can come to be.
Today, Monday, was my follow-up appointment with Dr. Roeder. While I sat in an armchair and exposed my naked chest, she took a look at my incision site and said that although it wasn't beautiful, it was healing well and the operation had been successful. They had removed a 3 cm tumor and had good clear margins, which means that there was sufficient healthy tissue surrounding the tumor when it was removed and that we can be relatively assured that they got all the cancer.
Then the doctor had some surprising news for me. As I sat there crinkling in my paper "gown", she told me that she thought that my radiation oncologist, Dr. Croghan, may not feel a need for me to have radiation. I couldn't believe that that was even a possibility. I thought it was going to be mandatory. So I was really pleased to hear this news, even though I know that I still need to talk to Dr. Croghan on Wednesday. I am most concerned about the consequences if I don't get radiation.
When Dr. Roeder and I discussed my additional surgeries, she told me that it might be possible to combine the double mastectomy and the hysterectomy into one surgery. Although the recovery time will be longer, I will only have to recover once. It's like being hit by a train once rather than being hit by a minivan twice.
I was thrilled at the possibility because I have wondered if I should have pushed to have the mastectomy and the lump removed at the same time. Of course, the longer and more complex the surgery, the more problems that can arise but I think it would be a lot easier on me in the long run so would be worth it.
Then Dr Roeder mentioned something else surprising. She said that she was going to present my case at a conference next week. She is curious as to why the breast MRI didn't pick up the cancer. That is a question that has been itching at my brain since I got the diagnosis. I will be interested to hear what she finds out from the conference and I hope they can figure out a way to prevent this from happening to another person.
So, I still don't have a time line to plan the future from but I am getting closer and the news has been pretty good. I would like to get this all over with during the summer in the hopes that I can take a little trip before the winter sets in. Nothing heals better than a visit with good friends, yummy food, and a little cultural exchange. More to come on Wednesday, after the appointment with my radiation oncologist.
Love and Peace to all.
The next day the boys and I went to Quaker meeting. After leaving the boys in first day school, I found a comfortable chair in the meeting. I don't know if I fell asleep or if I was so caught up in appreciating the silence and being in the moment, but it seemed like only minutes had passed before the children came in to join the adults in worship. After the meeting, it was so uplifting to see so many supportive smiles and to get hugs and back-pats. The boys and I are truly surrounded by a blanket of love and caring. I have received numerous notes of concern, even from people I don't know well. I can't tell you how inspiring it is when people just reach out to you, regardless of whether they know you well or not. I have also realized that one of the positive outcomes of this experience is that it is bringing the boys and I closer to the meeting and it is opening up a path for me to get to know more of the meeting members. It's true that even during the darkest of times, beautiful things can come to be.
Today, Monday, was my follow-up appointment with Dr. Roeder. While I sat in an armchair and exposed my naked chest, she took a look at my incision site and said that although it wasn't beautiful, it was healing well and the operation had been successful. They had removed a 3 cm tumor and had good clear margins, which means that there was sufficient healthy tissue surrounding the tumor when it was removed and that we can be relatively assured that they got all the cancer.
Then the doctor had some surprising news for me. As I sat there crinkling in my paper "gown", she told me that she thought that my radiation oncologist, Dr. Croghan, may not feel a need for me to have radiation. I couldn't believe that that was even a possibility. I thought it was going to be mandatory. So I was really pleased to hear this news, even though I know that I still need to talk to Dr. Croghan on Wednesday. I am most concerned about the consequences if I don't get radiation.
When Dr. Roeder and I discussed my additional surgeries, she told me that it might be possible to combine the double mastectomy and the hysterectomy into one surgery. Although the recovery time will be longer, I will only have to recover once. It's like being hit by a train once rather than being hit by a minivan twice.
I was thrilled at the possibility because I have wondered if I should have pushed to have the mastectomy and the lump removed at the same time. Of course, the longer and more complex the surgery, the more problems that can arise but I think it would be a lot easier on me in the long run so would be worth it.
Then Dr Roeder mentioned something else surprising. She said that she was going to present my case at a conference next week. She is curious as to why the breast MRI didn't pick up the cancer. That is a question that has been itching at my brain since I got the diagnosis. I will be interested to hear what she finds out from the conference and I hope they can figure out a way to prevent this from happening to another person.
So, I still don't have a time line to plan the future from but I am getting closer and the news has been pretty good. I would like to get this all over with during the summer in the hopes that I can take a little trip before the winter sets in. Nothing heals better than a visit with good friends, yummy food, and a little cultural exchange. More to come on Wednesday, after the appointment with my radiation oncologist.
Love and Peace to all.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The drain is out!
Today was the day after the slashing, crashing monsoon rains. It was wonderful to see the walls of rain come plummeting down to earth. A friend, Ami, had brought her little chihueenie dog over for a visit and we chatted til the rains dried up and the only evidence of the storm was the sweet smell of moist desert.
I was very glad to have an appointment with the surgical nurse today as I woke up with a sore breast and rubber tubing stuck to my stomach with sweat. It's bad enough having a drain, but when you are experiencing the humidity of monsoon summer, the rubber sticking to your body can make you feel like yanking the drain out yourself.
It was a quiet morning at the medical complex, not many cars and no waiting patients. I walked right in and lay down. Mary RN removed the stitch, which felt like she was cutting a rope, the thread was so thick. Then she told me to take a deep breath and she yanked! When I asked her how much tubing had been inside me (cuz I had had my eyes closed when she pulled it out), she showed it to me and it was about a foot long! I was in shock. There was about one tenth that length under the skin with the last drain I had.
So I felt a huge relief afterwards. It felt like she had removed a garden hose from my chest. She covered the opening with gauze and tape and I was on my way, being warned not to bathe for 24 hours. There are lots of warnings about not bathing with these operations. I feel a bit grungy but I will abide by the rules. (Don't I always?!) So if you see me on the streets and I look like I haven't bathed, well, I haven't.
Well, now I can wear normal clothes again and take my showers more easily, after the allotted 24 hours. I can get back to being a person, until the next time......
I was very glad to have an appointment with the surgical nurse today as I woke up with a sore breast and rubber tubing stuck to my stomach with sweat. It's bad enough having a drain, but when you are experiencing the humidity of monsoon summer, the rubber sticking to your body can make you feel like yanking the drain out yourself.
It was a quiet morning at the medical complex, not many cars and no waiting patients. I walked right in and lay down. Mary RN removed the stitch, which felt like she was cutting a rope, the thread was so thick. Then she told me to take a deep breath and she yanked! When I asked her how much tubing had been inside me (cuz I had had my eyes closed when she pulled it out), she showed it to me and it was about a foot long! I was in shock. There was about one tenth that length under the skin with the last drain I had.
So I felt a huge relief afterwards. It felt like she had removed a garden hose from my chest. She covered the opening with gauze and tape and I was on my way, being warned not to bathe for 24 hours. There are lots of warnings about not bathing with these operations. I feel a bit grungy but I will abide by the rules. (Don't I always?!) So if you see me on the streets and I look like I haven't bathed, well, I haven't.
Well, now I can wear normal clothes again and take my showers more easily, after the allotted 24 hours. I can get back to being a person, until the next time......
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