The check-up

My sister, Tracy, left yesterday after visiting for 4 days and helping me to get this house in order a bit. It was great to have her here to talk to and hang with. She worked really hard and did lots of meal preparation, making sure that I was eating well. It was hard to see her go but she got me through the toughest days of the recovery. Also, she kept the lonliness at bay.

I had a check-up with my oncologist today. It wasn't very eventful actually and I guess I should be happy for that.

I went in after sleeping until 9:00 AM. I actually felt like I got enough sleep but I was still tired. I got dressed in some yoga pants and a blouse that, although it made me look pregnant, didn't make me look like I had a drainage bulb hanging from my neck. I didn't have the energy to put on make-up or jewelry so I felt a bit unfinished but at least I didn't look like the disaster that I felt like.

Fortunately, I was called into the back relatively quickly, without being hounded by the financial folks. I guess my yelling at the financial assistant last time gave them the message that I wasn't too interested in talking to them about my outstanding balance.

Both Dr. Taetle and Mary Lynn, his assistant, came in and talked to me. They looked at the surgery site and discussed my hormone levels. According to the last blood test, I am post-menopausal but according to the previous tests, my hormone levels were off the charts. Go figure! If I am acually post-menopausal, they can start me on another drug instead of the tamoxifen. So I need to have another blood test to determine where I really am.

I was told to make an appt with Dr Croghan, my radiation oncologist. I will need to see her to determine how long I will have to have radiation and when I can start. I can't really plan anything or even look ahead until I know those things. I really feel like my life is on hold. And subsequently, so is Oscar's life since he is so tied up with everything that is going on with me.

I asked Dr. Taetle some questions about this recurrence and what it means for the future. Well, I hate to say it, but he didn't have any good news for me. It wasn't all doom and gloom but there is no up side to this latest tumor that I can see. So, we're back to "one day at a time" which I had just begun thinking I could up to one year at a time. No such luck!

Thanks again for all the love and concern that you are all showing. It is amazing how much it helps just to know that you all are out there, thinking of me and the boys. We feel the positive energy of your love and support. Keep it coming!